Sandra Tsing Low has an article in Atlantic that seems to be enraging the online men's rights movement. See the comments for her haranguing.
In the article, she paints a picture of female achievement and male inadequacy, in which the female partner in a traditional marriage, no longer dependent on the male's income stream, prompts divorce. The old traditional breadwinner is thus jettisoned in favor of Mr. Feelings (perhaps Mr. Young and Good-Looking too?).
Beneath the facade of humor, however, it is a pretty distressing picture of aging, apparently wealthy, women without partners.
Low here, of course, is an exception: she has a new boyfriend, a strange pairing of an adolescence romantic roles with menopause life-stage as she acknowledges. But, she fails to mention the romantic prospects of her similarly divorced sisterhood (aside from the still-married woman enraged at her lazy husband).
Overall, I think Low's perspective is warped by her exceptional personal experience. Consider the evidence:
- She is in her 50's but looks much, much younger, if her picture can be trusted.
- She has a B.S. in Physics from Caltech, which she fails to mention. Relatedly, she ignores the huge gender gap in STEM bachelors and graduate degrees among her female compatriots, particularly in engineering.
- Loh seems to have pursued a graduate degree in creative writing despite her technical background. Furthermore, she seems to have achieved considerable success in the creative world of LA -- a rarity, as a steady supply of LA waitresses will tell you -- to the point where she seems to think $650,000 is a normal yearly salary in any city, and that $275/hour therapy is a normal, not outrageous, service purchase.
It is unclear how an average woman acquires such a high-paying "foundation job" as her friend holds -- doing what, one wants to ask. My instinct is that Loh has spent so many years around high functioning, high IQ and, in the adult world, wealthy and successful SoCal people from Caltech onward, that she is considerably out-of-touch with the reduced economic prospects of the flood of new female graduates she predicts will readily jettison laggard males. She may want to peruse the "we are the 99% tumblr" to see the stories of some of these fellow female degree-holding young women (a sample follows, the first woman I found, but many, many more exist):
"I am a 24 year old college graduate. I have a B.A. in English. After 5 years of work to better myself, I am now working 40-50 hours a week making barely more than I did when I graduated from high school 6 years ago. I work 2 jobs and can’t afford to move out of my parents house even with a roommate. I have $33,000+ to pay in student loans. (I’m barely paying the interest.) I can’t find a full time job because I have no experience…no one will hire me so I can gain some! I’m stressed out and depressed. I feel trapped. The American Dream is dead for my generation. I AM THE 99%!!!
Somehow I cant see her casually casting off a male partner who earns a decent salary, but what do I know of female psychology?
Loh ends her article -- which, though I have been somewhat mean to, is in reality an honest and well written picture of wealthy female psychology -- by advising men to learn "dancing skills" -- that is, focus on becoming attractive for personal qualities rather than financial support, in order to win over American women (PUAs would say become more "alpha").
The tacit assumption here, however, is that American men will still want these egotistical American women. While Loh is in a relationship, what does she really think that her likely similarly-aged friends have to offer high value men -- other than possibly wealth to support a loafer's lifestyle? Several times in the article she brings up evolutionary psychology -- e.g. to explain why we love babies (somewhat weirdly, in fact) -- so surely is familiar with the reproductive value of a post-menopausal woman.
If the America Loh predicts comes to pass, and women reject American men in mass, I hope they will not busy themselves competing for American women with fickle standards, but rather look to countries where the promise of a median American income is still a dream worth pursuing to import their brides.
- lydgate
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*Middlemarch readers can perhaps see Loh's disillusionment with men in the psychology of Rosamond. The category system reminds me most most of Austen, however, with the bumbler, card, and nobleman all competing for Elizabeth's confused affections.
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